Dear Paris,
Today is your mother and my 24th anniversary.
Those are kind of rare these days. Many times relationships just don’t make it to have a marriage that will last that long. Some times people stay married that long – but they just kind of ‘endure’ it and don’t really enjoy it like they once did.
My wish for you is that you enjoy a loving relationship and have a marriage that will last.
After having been married 24 years and helping hundreds of others in their relationships, I believe a great marriage has a lot to do with who you choose to give your heart to.
A father wants the best in life for his daughter – and I’m no different.
You once said in a video message that when you got married, you wanted a man like me… You may not need someone ‘like me’ (although I loved hearing that) but I do hope you end up choosing someone to give your heart to that will be someone who will be a great match for you. As a dad, I would say – someone who is ‘good enough for you,’ someone who is ‘worthy of you.’
Ultimately, this is your choice; no one can make it for you: others can only hope that you ‘guard your heart above all else. I’ve given similar advice to thousands of others but I thought I’d share that same advice with you on this special day – in a more personal way. My advice to you as your ‘daddy’ is…
Choose someone who is:
1. A Follower of Jesus Christ
This should be the number one thing.
I’m not talking about picking someone who ‘says they are a Christian;’ we’ve met many people like that.
I’m not talking about someone who knows a lot of scripture or has been a church member – there are plenty of people who do those things who may not make a very good spouse.
I’m talking about a young man who has a genuine love for God.
Find someone whose faith inspires you to believe more and live with a higher focus; a person who wants to honor Jesus Christ with how they live and the choices they make.
This kind of faith will cause the person you choose to be looking for direction in life from a source beyond his own thoughts and feelings.
They will be compelled to be a servant at times when others would focus on themselves, they will feel the need to forgive when others want to hold on to little disagreements and they will try to trust God when others will just do it their own way. They will look to God’s Word for guidance and will want to be accountable to God in life and that will guide them.
I’ve seen some people compromise on this number one quality and regret it later because it affects so many other areas.
It has been so valuable to me to share a similar faith with your mom.
Choose someone who is:
2. Respectful
A person who respects you, will think about your feelings and desires before taking action and making decisions. Respect leads to honor. He will make decisions that demonstrate that he genuinely honors you.
Respect changes everything about how we talk to each other, how we work through differences and the ultimate decisions we make.
They will respect God’s plan for your life. They will never encourage you or support you in disregarding what’s best for your life.
Respect causes someone to be kind in a way that others are not. It will affect how they speak about us to others and how they approach life together.
Choose someone who is:
3. Protective
This does not mean they are ‘defensive.’ They are protective.
To me this means:
- they are considerate of you. In our world today, it’s easy to be self-focused. When the pressure is on we tend to take care of our own needs first. A person who is respectful and protective will be thinking of you.
- they would protect you physically – from harm or from their own desires that would put you at risk
– to young people this would include pregnancy and disease, to others this could mean preferring their physical needs in everyday life.
- they would protect you emotionally – step up in times that you may need that extra sensitivity.
- they would protect you spiritually – keeping a watchful eye over temptations and distractions.
- they would protect your other relationships – someone who conducts their relationship with you in a way that is not putting you in a situation that jeopardizes the other relationships that are important to you… feeling competitive, acting unnecessarily jealous or forcing you to choose so they will feel ‘more important.’
Love inspires someone to care for others enough to protect them.
Choose someone who:
4. Has Vision
A person with vision has ambition with purpose.
A person with vision has direction.
Some people may have goals but vision is taking you somewhere. It reveals values.
Most young boys have big dreams. Some young men have interesting ideas about ways to make money. But ultimately you will probably want a man that is focused on ‘making a life’ not just ‘making a living.’ Find someone who wants to make a difference in the world.
Confidence is a quality that brings so much to a relationship, because confidence allows us to deal with situations that come up and focus on those situations alone and not our own ‘hidden needs’ that subtly affect every conversation. A person who has true confidence is also able to possess so many other great qualities.
Vision brings confidence, confidence brings strength and strength brings greater vision.
Well, these are a few important qualities. There are many others. I just was reflecting on our anniversary and thought I’d pass along to you some things I thought were important.
Maybe you can tuck this note away somewhere and let it speak to your heart in the months and years ahead.
My wish for you is that would enjoy love – in its highest form.
Love,
Dad
Shared by : Sherline
Source: http://www.philipwagner.com/article/
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